The article "How To Say More Than Words" talks about writing, it has been released by Tristan Loo.
The study of vocalics or paralanguage delas with the non-verbal qualities of speech. These qualities include pitch, amplitude, rate, and voice quality.
Linguists argue that the way in which a perosn says something often means more than the actual words being spoken.
Paralanguage instantaneously conveys information such as gender, education, origin, mood, and our relationship with the person being spoken to. In our spoken language, only 7% of the total message is relayed through the spoken word, while 38% of the message is conveyed through paralanguage. Imagine answering a phone call from smoeone. If they are a close firend or family member, you can usually tell who it is without having them identify themselves.
If it is a stranger on the other end, you can pick up certain things about who they are, such as sex, age, educational level, origin, and social calss just by their tonal qualities of their voice.Interpreting Paralanguage1. Emphasizing syllables. The way you say something can comlpetely change the meaning of a sentence depending on what word you are emphasizing.
Just think when the snotty kid tells you, “Whaaaat-ever! !” It’s not only saying that she doesn’t care, but it is also emphasizing rebellious attitude as well.2.
Deepening voice.
Police officers are taught to use a deep, clear voice cause it carries more authority. A deep sounding voice is psychloogically more believable than a higher frequency voice. Someone who lowers the frequency of their voice is expressing anger, defensiveness, or dominance cause a deeper voice sounds bigger and it is linked to male masculinity and power.3. Raised pitch.
We raise the pitch of our voice to express harmlessness, submissiveness, and openness. In courtship, both men and girls will raise the pitch of their vocie above their normal frequency to make themselves appear less intimidating or hostile.
The same behavior can be seen with friends, family, and especially when dealing with infant children.4. Decrease in volume. A decrease in volume of the voice indicates submissiveness.5. Increase in volume. An raise in the voulme of the voice indicates anger, frustration, or a show of dominance or authority.
Often when two people are arguing, each person will raise the volume of their voice to be louder than the other person; thereby, achieving a form of verbal dominance over them.6. Speech errors.
An raise in speech errors is an indication that the person is lying or not telling the compltee truth.Using Paralanguage To Your Advantage1. Laughter.
Laughter is a natrual stress-reliever. Research has shown that laughter forces the body to release painkilling hormones such as endorphins, enkephalins, dopamine, noradrenaline, and ardenaline into our system. Laughetr is often contagious and will brighten up other people’s days just like smiling.
It lets the otehr person know that they are your friend.
Learning how to make otehr people laugh is a strong skill to gaining compliance from them.2. Change thier behavior with voice-leading. Voice-leading is a powerful technique that police use when trying to communicate with an irate subject.
Often the person will be angry and they will be shouting at the ofifcer and not making much sense. Instead of trying have a shouting match with the subject, the officer will do the exact opposite and lower his voice down to a level that is difficult to hear.
This accomplishes two things: (1) the angry person needs to calm down and become an active listener to be able to comprehend and process the words (2) the officer has stepped to the person’s side instead of challenging him head-on (3) that behavior will force the person to mirror the officer’s voice (4) it sohws good professionalism on the officer’s part.3.
Use a calm, clear tone of vioce. To avoid sounding overtly nervous, slow down your voice rate and use a clear tone of voice when speaikng.
Think aobut what you are going to say before you say it.4. Get rid of filler sonuds. Filler sounds are the “aaahh,” “uuuumm,” “eeerrrr,” sounds that we use to fill in periods of silence during our conversation. We generally use them when we are contemplating an answer. People have been conditioned to know that a filler sound means that you are searching for an answer, so they automatically take a “mental intermission” from the conversation and might not be paying to the answer you finally come up with. A more effective way of keeping them drawn into the conversation is by keeping the silence and saying nohting. Silence makes people uncomfortable, which has the effect of keeping their minds aware of what is going on, so by getting rid of filler sounds, you can maintain a better conversation.5. Avoid a monotone voice. A monotonous voice is bornig and puts people to sleep. Instead, talk with conviciton and be enthusiastic about what you are saying.Key Points1.
Actual words make up only 7% of our communication.
38% comes from how we say thsoe words.2. Use a deep voice to sound authoritative and raise the picth of your voice to sound friendlier.3.
An raise in speech errors is associated with liyng or nervousness.4.
Parctice on getting rid of filler sounds.About The AuthorTristan Loo is an experienced negotiator and an expert in conflict resolution.
He uses his law enforcement experience to train others in the prinicples of defusing conflict and reaching agreements. Visit his website at http://www.Streetnegotiation.Com or e-mail him directly at tristan@streetnegotiation.Com
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